i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Couch. On fire.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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