Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just tell him i said nine months
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
