I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
