What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
