lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
