whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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