try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
