I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
