I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
