she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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