return my video game
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
