All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
