And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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