saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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