So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
