Your mouth is God's brothel.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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