This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
