You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
