I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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