P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wish you could order shots online.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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