About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
