Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
