so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
