I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
