yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
