it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am one with the molecules
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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