Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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