My friends, they love my intelligence
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What a dumb baby whore.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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