i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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