you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
