That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
