Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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