he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
