Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
