Kareoke will never be a sober sport
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize