Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
