A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
