I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize