How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
