you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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