I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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