i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize