Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
