Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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