why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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