There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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