my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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