Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
