why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
