Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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