Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize