I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
