Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
