Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
